Safety & Accountability

Sex positive spaces welcome us in and provide a space for us to grow, play and develop. This environment only exists when we share not just a set of values to aspire to, but a baseline set of community standards that we can all agree to hold eachother to.

When someone who attends our events violates those standards, we want to hear about it. This is how we keep our spaces safe, and how we help eachother grow.

Need to report an incident?

If you feel that an interaction you had with someone violated our community standards, we want to hear about it. Use this form to make your entirely private report.

Community Standards

Having a shared set of Community Standards lets us all know what we’re expecting of each other when we’re creating experiences together, how we can help each other grow, and how we can all work to continually create a safer, healthier space.

Each person who attends our events is agreeing to hold these Community Standards as their baseline minimum of behavior.

  • Consent is collaborative conversation between event attendees, not a negotiation. In order to create safe and comfortable spaces for sexual exploration and growth, we strictly adhere to a model of Enthusiastic Consent at all of our events.

    We define Enthusiastic Consent as:

    • Unpressured and freely given. When hearing a “no” accept it with a “thank you” and do not ask again or try to negotiate or persuade.

    • Ongoing and can be revoked at any time. Consent must be given throughout any interaction, especially before new activities or new people are added.

    • Fully informed. Everyone involved should be aware of risk factors, risk tolerances, and other relevant information. This includes any substances and STI risk factors.

    • Specific. Everyone involved is clear on what activities are going to happen.

    • Competent. Everyone involved must be present and sober enough to agree to activities.

    • Timely. Getting consent for an interaction one day does NOT mean you have perpetual consent in the future. Check in the next time you interact with someone and make sure they’re still comfortable with what was okay before.

    Enthusiastic Consent is required at all times before engaging in any physical contact or sexual activities at NRE events. If it’s not a “Yes!”, “Fuck yes!”, “Absolutely!”, “Yes Please!”, it’s a “No”. Responses like “Sure”, “Okay”, “I guess so”, or “Alright” simply are not enthusiastic enough for us.

    We understand that other events & spaces may follow a different consent model. However, we reserve the right to revoke invitation to our events for behavior in other spaces that we feel violates our community standards.

  • In our communities, we care for each other as people first and formost. That applies to event attendees as well as staff and volunteers. A few examples of this community care include:

    • Objectification: In our communities, we look at people as people. If you often stop talking to/paying attention to someone the minute they say “no” to you or as soon as sex is over, you might be following the letter of the law in terms of consent, but you’re objectifying them and not treating them as a person, and that’s not something we do in this community.

    • Don’t target or take advantage of new people: Some of us are still getting our bearings with sex postivity, shared play spaces or just our sexuality. That isn’t an excuse to test someone’s boundaries. If someone is totally new, take extra care to avoid pressuring them. Give them space to explore with other people. There is a fine line between welcoming the less experienced among us and preying on them. If you cross that line, you will not be invited to future events.

    • Respect teams, experiences, and spaces: The teams that put on and keep our events running work their asses off to create these spaces. Of course, you don’t owe them anything for that, and it’s important that they don’t use that status as leverage over anyone. At the same time, we also have an extra duty to keep those folks safe; it’s not acceptable to harass anyone while they’re on shift.

      Similarly, there aren't many sex-positive spaces where we can have events like this, so a core community standard is to respect these spaces and the people who work there, and to leave them in at least as good a condition as we got them, if not better.

    • Community Responsibility: Staff and volunteers can’t be everywhere all the time. We’re counting on event attendees to speak up if they see something that doesn’t adhere to our Community Standards or just feels off. If it’s safe to do so, please intervene when something doesn’t look right. Otherwise, track down a staff member or volunteer to help. If the issue can wait until later, file a report at your earliest convenience.

  • No one is perfect and that includes our community. We know we can’t stop every bad thing from happening, but with your help we can make our community as safe as possible. Practicing harm reduction means:

    • Know your STI status and how to communicate it. Know your STI risk tolerance, and how you want to keep yourself safe.

    • Know your body and take care of yourself. Hydrate.

    • Don’t share your fucking drugs. We don’t advise or allow mixing drug use and shared play spaces. If you feel compelled to partake in substances, do not share them with others. And do not leave your substances out.

    • Know your limits. If you find yourself unable to give or perceive consent clearly, take a break from the party, and let a trusted friend know so they can look out for you.

    • Inebriation isn’t an excuse for ignoring consent or being a jerk.

  • Growth

    We all make mistakes, and we can take accountability for our mistakes and do things differently in the future. That's growth, and that's the goal.

    Accountability is a personal responsibility, but it thrives with community support.

    Know your Yes’s and No’s

    Owning your “no” means saying it in whatever way you desire without fear of how it will be received.

    Conversely, roll out the red carpet for someone else’s no.

    You’re responsible for your guests

    If you bring someone into a space - either as a guest or when you sponsor a referal - you are responsible for their behavior.

    Sharing these spaces with our friends and lovers is a gift built on trust, and that starts with each of us knowing, trusting and preparing the people we bring in.

    Similarly, please do not bring people who have been banned or uninvited from this or other spaces, or who haven’t yet been approved for NRE events. Sometimes someone we care about has been uninvited or removed from a space and we may feel that they have been wronged or misunderstood. While that feeling is understandable, acting on it violates the trust of everyone at the event.

  • We respect the personhood and autonomy of the people around us. Just as this means respecting and celebrating their consent, it also means respecting and celebrating their identities.

    As a community, we respect people’s names, pronouns & gender identity, race/ethnicity, age, sexual orientation or any other identity.

    Check your power and privilege - power and privilege can come in many different forms, such as age differences, job positions, income, gender norms, popularity, body size, and so on. When people feel they have less power in a situation, they may be compelled to agree to things they don’t want to do. Be mindful of any power imbalances in your interactions. Aim to call attention to those imbalances and let the person in a position of less power lead your interaction.

Incident Reports & Accountabilty

A fact of spaces and communities like ours is that sometimes, people get hurt. The goal of our Incident Report and Accountability process is to create a safer space, and to allow people room to learn and grow. While some incidents do necessitate that we revoke the reported person’s invitation to our events, we want to hear about even small violations of our community standards, because these are key opportunities for people who’ve made mistakes or caused hurt to learn and grow.

  • If you experience or witness behavior that you believe goes against the Community Standards, please report it here.


    When you make a report, our team has three goals: make sure that you’re safe, make sure that you’re heard, and make sure that your privacy is protected.

    Safety: When a report is made, we’ll reach out the person who was harmed, and take any actions in our power to make sure they’re in no present danger. This can include removing an aggressor from a space, providing an immediate ear to hear your story, or helping point you to any resources you might need.

    Heard: Our team is here to take your report, and to represent you in seeking accountability. While privacy means that we may not be able to tell you exactly what consequences or conversations are had regarding the person you’ve reported, we will walk you through the process and let you know when it’s completed.

    Privacy: All submissions are private, and are anonymized before being reviewed by a team who will make recommendations for next steps.

    Your report, including your name & identifiable information, will not be shared with anyone unless you expressly agree to that.

  • New reports are viewed only by one intake person, not a member of the NRE leadership team. When we receive a report, we do the following:

    1. Confirm to the reporter that we’ve received it. We may also ask clarifying question.

    2. Anonymize the report to prevent bias.

    3. Send the anonymized information to a panel of community members who will review it and make a recommendation.

    4. Take any actions as recommended by the panel.

    5. Loop back in with the reporter on the outcome.

  • If a report has been made about you, a few things may happen.

    If the reporter wants their report to stay anonymous, you may not hear about it, or you may only hear that a report was made, in which case we’ll do everything we can to enable to learn from the incident, while still maintaining that privacy.

    In many cases, reporters are really seeking to call attention to an action that you didn’t realized caused harm or violated Community Standards. In these cases, an NRE representative will have a conversation with you to let you know what happened - we sincerely hope that this creates an opportunity for you to take accountability, make amends, and grow as a person.

    In cases of serious or repeat violations, we reserve the right to revoke invitations to some or all future NRE events.

  • We recognize that staff, performers and volunteers have a position of power in their interactions with others, and may benefit from bias both as a reporter of an incident and as a possible violator of community standards.

    To prevent this from biasing our process, all decisions and outcomes on incident review come from reports with all names removed. NRE staff have no input to influence or change review decisions.